Ask DB: House Husband or King Petty?
Welcome to DB’s Down in the DM, our weekly feature, where you, humble listeners and readers, get to ask 107.7 The Bounce’s advice guru your difficult questions, and today’s question is from A Guy who hates the new nickname his wife gave him:
“We have no kids, a nice house for the two of us, and are overall living very very comfortably. She works very long hours, so I take care of most of the household things. Bella’s started referring to me as her “house husband” around our family and friends. I’ve mostly been letting it go but every single time it bothers me. I finally got to the end of my rope when we were with her mother on Sunday, who still doesn’t really approve of me, and they were talking about taking care of the lawn/garden and she said, “Thank goodness I have a house husband for that or I’d never find the time” and smiled at me. Then they both laughed. It was humiliating. I told her that she needed to stop emasculating me and making it seem like I didn’t contribute anything to the household. She told me that she would stop calling me a house husband if I was going to “get that upset about it” but that it wasn’t an untrue term and I needed to stop being insecure. Bella refuses to apologize I’ve stopped doing the chores until she apologizes and she is beyond pissed off. She’s been coming home and cooking dinner (only for herself) and doing the chores I haven’t and then taking off to spend the night at a friends house. Am I rightfully petty or should I accept the role of house husband?”
House Husband or King Petty, Here’s DB’s Advice
Let me start off with that if your significant other or partner asks you not to do something take it seriously. You can never tell a person how to feel. I know it’s tough when we handle issues differently but you should never discredit or downplay their reality especially when they vocalize that. Now that’s where she was wrong…but you are wrong too my friend. In this situation the real question I have is why does this irk you so much? Are you not wanting to be classified as “less” because of the name because if so that discredits to the many House Wives who stay home and take care of the house everyday. It is proven caring for the home and in cases children is a job all in itself and women are expected to do it and not complain. When the shoe is on the other foot though you seem to take offense and that my friend isn’t a good look. Not doing the chores when that was your agreed role is silly. It’s a partnership and at the end of the day you must fulfill your part of it. I say to you both is this the hill to end your relationship on? Because if this continues it will go to that path and you will both lead to regret. I hope you can look deeper and tackle those issues within and also find your new passion. Go back to animation, find your thing that will fulfill your life and keep your relationship intact before you lose it.
DB’s Down in the DM is a weekly segment on Monday’s on The Bounce Morning Rollout with Minda and DB on 107.7 The Bounce. Ask your questions by texting the studio line at 910-323-5477 anytime, and you might be featured. (Make sure to let us know in your text that you’re asking for advice. You’d be surprised by some of the weird questions we get randomly.)