Ask DB: Would You Name Your Daughter After Her Dad – Stuart?
Welcome to DB’s Down in the DM, our weekly feature, where you, humble listeners and readers, get to ask 107.7 The Bounce’s advice guru your difficult questions, and today’s question is from a Young Mother-To-Be from Fayetteville:
“So, my husband, Stuart, and I are expecting our first child, a bouncing baby girl due in a few months. We were both over the moon when we found out the gender, but now things have gotten . . . complicated, to say the least. The “boy name” was immediately decided: Stuart Jr. No problem there, it’s a classic name and carries family meaning. But, for a girl, my husband suggested Stuarta. Apparently, his logic is that since Stuart ends in “t,” we can just add an “a” to make it feminine. I tried explaining why that doesn’t quite work, how it sounds more like a furniture brand than a human name, he’s adamant though, says it “honors” him while giving our daughter a unique name. Now, I love my husband dearly, and I understand wanting to honor family. But I can’t imagine subjecting our daughter to a lifetime of awkward stares and endless questions about her “unusual” name. I also worry about potential bullying and the impact it could have on her self-esteem. Is there any compromise I haven’t considered? What should I do?””
Here’s DB’s Advice:
Stuart….c’mon bud. Let it go! Now being born and named Dashawn hasn’t ever been the easiest. Constantly it is misspelled to Deshawn. I’ve had is mispronounced numerous times (DAY-SHAWN or DEESHAWN when it’s DUH-SHAWN) and having the last name Byron confuses people even more where they swap it. I’ve also had some issues with my name being associated with the negative stereotypes that a young black male does experience. It was tough to get in the door in previous jobs. Now luckily enough I’m in the place I was meant to be (Monday-Friday 6am-10am) and I gained knowledge from years of life lessons. I wouldn’t change my name…but your daughter will. Traditionally the dedication or legacy to your family is your children taking your last name. That’s enough and honestly you shouldn’t have a child just to be a trophy or dedication to you. If you continue to push and your wife caves in then you will continue this behavior and honestly that’s not ok. If you want Stuart so badly then either make that her first or middle name. Do not add the “A” it doesn’t make it feminine. The poor child will go with the name that is not Stuart so be prepared for that. Bullying doesn’t happen everywhere but it does happen. And your poor daughter will have to be prepared to deal with the jokes. And also if this is your first, why not just save it for your next child. You could still have a boy and he be Stuart Jr. You can’t think short sighted when it comes to a future human being. A name is something you have for life and a headache to change later so don’t make a decision based on ego!
DB’s Down in the DM is a weekly segment on Monday’s on The Bounce Morning Rollout with Minda and DB on 107.7 The Bounce. Ask your questions by texting the studio line at 910-323-5477 anytime, and you might be featured. (Make sure to let us know in your text that you’re asking for advice. You’d be surprised by some of the weird questions we get randomly.)
